A520.2.3.RB_Conflict Resolution_Wathen_Sandra

My blog is to describe an example of a successful conflict resolution that I have either witnessed or participated in.  What was the conflict? What role did you play? Who were the other participants in the negotiation? What was the result? Did I see any room for improvement to how the conflict was handled?

In a recent program manager’s meeting, there were several leaders that participated in a discussion that led to two of the managers getting into a heated debate.  I had some insight going into the meeting that there was a chance that these two individuals would have differences based on their strong personalities and the type of discussion at hand.

As a support contractor to one of the leaders, I had prepared myself that there could be a need for me to be either a mediator or that I may have to diplomatically interject to assist with the conflict.  One of the things that I have learned over my career is to be prepared for these types of situations so that I can already have an action plan in place.

In this particular case, the two individuals had different ideas and approaches to how the project should be executed.  At first, the meeting seemed to be going in a mutually agreed approach with how they were to resolve the problem.  Then all of a sudden, the one leader (not the one that I directly support) stood up and started to ridicule the leader that I support; for no reason.  This continued for several minutes.  I looked over at the leader that I support and I looked at his face and I could tell from his expressions that he didn’t know what to say and I could see that he was becoming frustrated and humiliated.  Right away I took a few seconds to think how I was going to handle the situation.

I quickly spoke up and said “sorry to interrupt, but if you can give me a few seconds, I would like to reflect back on a couple comments you mentioned earlier that you may be able to use to get to a mutual decision that could work for meeting both parties needs”.  At that point in time, she sat back down and said “sure”.

I then took the lead, went over to the whiteboard and started putting the high-level bullets down so that they could start a more positive discussion.  At this point in time, I realized I had just become the “coach”. 

I went through each of the bullets and gave them time to make comments as I wrote them down so they both could see and reflect on their thoughts.  Often, I found myself guiding them down the thought processes in order to define the solutions. 

When the subject became too debated, I would diplomatically adjust them back to the focus points.  After about an hour, they were able to work their issues out.  As a result, they were able to come to mutual agreed solutions with some compromises of each party – but overall it was a win/win success!

In hind sight, maybe it would have been nice to have already had those bullets on a slide from the very beginning versus just an open discussion.  I think seeing the thoughts on the board and making changes to them together makes a more mutual way of initial discussions.